Categorized | Music

Rapper Debuts in Hall of Fame

THE HOOD, Calif. — The Hip-Hop Hall of Fame selection committee reached a unanimous vote on Wednesday to place new rapper Young Rolla in the prestigious Hall among the likes of other rap greats, such as Jay-Z and 2Pac. According to the committee, Rolla met each of the Hall’s qualifications – consistency, legacy, cultural impact, sound proficiency, and rhyme scheme – in his first chart-topper, “I’m Tha Best”.

“From his first rhyme all the way through his seventh, the listener knows Rolla deserves this honor,” said HOF chairman Russell Simmons. “In each line, he reiterates how much better he is than other rappers. Young understands what the rap game is all about.”

The unanimous vote was almost ruled against by Mims, whose debut single “This is Why I’m Hot” also garnered a Hall of Fame induction, until the other members of the committee urged him to listen to the song once more.

“At first, I’m like, ‘Psh, who is this clown?’ He ain’t better than me,” said Mims. “But then I was like, ‘he is better than me.’ Listen to him. He’s saying it right in the song! What can I say to something like that?”

The now-historic rapper credited his love of hip-hop, his life spent on the streets, and Microsoft Word’s built-in thesaurus as inspiration for the smash hit, calling the song “a true testament to what can be achieved when you, for some reason, think you’re the best.”

“These other rappers today spit fake ish,” Rolla said. “They singing about money and champagne and strippers. I’m all about what really matters, like how many synonyms for great haven’t been used yet.”

“Adroit, meritorious, unmitigated, preeminent, superlative,” Rolla continued. “Five classics just waiting right there yo.”

Kanye West, who is not on the board but proffered his opinion anyway, believed that Rolla’s induction was a mistake and planned to consult with the members of the Hall for a possible revocation.

“That song was the illest, but we don’t know if that’s his ceiling. How many more times can he repeat the same verse with different wording?” West asked. “For all we know, he might be one of them flash-in-the-pan legends. I used the word ‘amazing’ ninety-six times before I got they attention.”

If the induction holds up, Rolla will join 4,338 other arrogant neophytes in the Hall of Fame and he hopes that this monumental achievement will help him ink a record deal.

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About the Author

Chris O'Toole (Colorado State '12, Chapman '15) recently finished a Screenwriting MFA. He has written for Livestrong, CBS, and other publications. Love, hate, and job offers can be sent to: otool102@mail.chapman.edu