Categorized | Sports

2013 ESPYs After-Party Photo Gallery

My friend Travis Synder over at the Hungry Creative Agency had the opportunity to snap some photos at the ESPYs daytime after-party/SWAG giveaway and he graciously allowed my site to post them. Comments are mine.

 

Lolo Jones comin’ strong with the perfect head tilt.

RayAllen-Invisible

When you’ve had a threesome in a feature film, you don’t need no damn invisible texts. You’re a legend with nothing to hide.

J.J Watt had 20.5 sacks last year. Don’t fucking stare at him.

 

PuigMarchon

Yasiel Puig is indoors and his shades are off. I like this young man.

Kenneth Faried, please never leave my Nuggets. We love you.

Kenneth Faried, please never leave my Nuggets. We love you.

 

TO-models

T.O. was interested in a texting service that leaves no trace. And the earth continues to revolve around the sun.

RayAllen-Spa

The nice Asian lady on the far left is displaying the correct amount of admiration for Ray-Ray’s miracle 3 in Game 6.

I spent ten minutes Googling whether Blind Barber had blind barbers. That’s how you know I’m not from the coast and Nick Young is. (P.S. they don’t.)

 

And now for my favorite part: ATHLETES UNCOMFORTABLY ENDORSING PRODUCTS AT RANDOM

I liked my haircut so much that I wore a hat for this.

“Uh, yeah, so I’m reading the instructions. Are you standing? You’re standing. Good. Step 2…”

The purpose of this product is unclear — rolling pin slash karate baton? — but Puig sells it with style.

“TOO MUCH RAY, NOT ENOUGH BELKIN” — the promoters, probably

That’s how it’s done.

I want to believe your endorsement, Yasiel, but your hair is uncut.

silva-espys

Peyton Siva is 6’0, 180 lbs in real life. Here he is the size of carry-on luggage.

 

X-Games gold medalist Leticia Bufoni is ostensibly the only one here who has ever been on a paddleboard.

 

Female Olympic gold medalist seen here playing second visual banana to a ziggurat of men's skin products.

Jordyn Wieber, Olympic gold medalist, playing second visual banana to a ziggurat of men’s skin products.

 

 

 

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About the Author

Chris O'Toole (Colorado State '12, Chapman '15) recently finished a Screenwriting MFA. He has written for Livestrong, CBS, and other publications. Love, hate, and job offers can be sent to: otool102@mail.chapman.edu