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Things I’ll Miss Complaining About If The Broncos Win The Super Bowl

The Super Bowl. We made it. Time to do some inventory.

Things I’ll Miss Complaining About If The Broncos Win The Super Bowl

  • How no one appreciated the above-averageness of Jake Plummer.
  • How everyone was a little too sold on Jay Cutler as a playmaker.
  • Josh McDaniels. Just, yeah. McDaniels.
  • How everyone emphasized Brandon Marshall being a headcase and forgot that he’s really, really, really fucking good.
  • Rahim Moore/Jacoby Jones. Actually, no. I won’t miss that.
  • The curious merry-go-round of stadium names. I mean, are we really supposed to call it Sports Authority Field? Did anyone ever really call it Invesco? Can someone start a corporation called Mile High, buy the naming rights, and be done with it?
  • Eddie Royal being under-utilized as a deep threat.
  • Being asked which Bronco uniform I would want and responding “Ashley Lelie”.
  • Our usually stable stable of running backs being a miserable headache before Knowshon finally emerged.
  • Are we going to commemorate the Tebow Season at all? Like, maybe not putting his name on the Ring of Fame, but something like TEBOW SEASON 2011? Do we even remember how ridiculous those games were?
  • On a related note, everyone bitching about how much Tebow media coverage there was.
  • There was an all-day ESPN Tebow Special. All. Day.
  • Making “bad wide receiver” excuses for an underperforming QB. Thanks a lot, Demariyus Thomas, Wes Welker, Julius Thomas, and Eric Decker. (Holy shit, look at that list.)
  • I hate to bring up an old point, but Olandis Gary rushed for a thousand yards. What happened to our running game in the Orton-Cutler-Tebow era?
  • I can probably complain about Phil Simms in the future, but people will say things like, “Calm down. Your team just won the Super Bowl.” And that’s really unfair, because he’s still Phil Simms.
  • Not sure any amount of Lombardi will erase “Bubby Brister” from my memory.
  • Or Brian Griese, but less so.
  • I kinda forgot that Kyle Orton existed before this list. So maybe it’s not a complaint.
  • The mustard and brown uniforms are forever hideous. Thank God I’ll always have that.
  • That time we really needed a skill position player on defense and we traded away our first round draft pick. Retroactively smart, but the feeling lingers.
  • The years where running/throwing on our defense was as difficult as the first level of Pac Man.
  • That we hired the only coach with a worse record than McDaniels that year. Whoops.
  • The “Go Broncos” South Park clip being bastardized by other teams.
  • People who questioned the Portis for Champ trade. I mean, seriously. Seriously?! Seriously.
  • Fans wearing Romonowski Broncos jerseys. Sure, he was integral to our Super Bowl wins. But doesn’t it feel wrong? It should feel wrong to you.
  • Remember that one time Orton lost to the unstoppable QB tandem of JaMarcus Russell and Charlie Frye? Me neither. I certainly wasn’t at that game.
  • Our newest addition to the Please Miss the Bus List: Quentin Jammer.
  • People probably won’t listen to my Josh Kroenke vitriol. BUT DO YOU NOW UNDERSTAND THE GLORY OF SPORTS WITHOUT HIM?
  • Parking’s kinda expensive.

If we should somehow best the ferocious Seattle defense, the ever-intelligent Russell Wilson, and Beast Mode… goodbye, my sweets. I will be lighter without you, but is not life meant to be heavy?

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About the Author

Chris O'Toole (Colorado State '12, Chapman '15) recently finished a Screenwriting MFA. He has written for Livestrong, CBS, and other publications. Love, hate, and job offers can be sent to: otool102@mail.chapman.edu