About Chris O'Toole

Chris O’Toole is the founder and writer of O2L Sports. BA English - Colorado State; MFA Writing - Chapman. CBS, Livestrong, etc. You can reach him at otoole.writes@gmail.com.
Author Archive | Chris O'Toole
Indie Flasher Wants More Exposure

Indie Flasher Wants More Exposure

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local flasher Allen Whitaker expressed gratitude for his loyal throng of nonconsensual viewers on Thursday, but also felt that it was time for a larger number of citizens to see his famed penis. “First of all, to those that stand idly at bus stops and business parks, thank you,” Whitaker began. “It […]

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In Defense of Jar Jar Binks

In Defense of Jar Jar Binks

If you’re a Star Wars fan like I am, your respect for the franchise ended about nine minutes into Episode I when the Separatist tanks failed to steamroll right over the flappy-eared insult to Jamaica known as Jar Jar Binks. Salt continued to pour into the wound when Qui-Gon Jin and Obi Wan had the […]

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The Puffy Shirt

The Puffy Shirt

If there were any actual detractors to The Puffy Shirt being selected as Seinfeld’s representation in the Smithsonian Institute, I was among them. After nine seasons, I believed Seinfeld deserved better than a good sight gag; it deserved a shrine, a wing, a monument. However, when reviewing all those seasons, it was difficult to find […]

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John Fox Unveils ‘The Ortebow’

John Fox Unveils ‘The Ortebow’

DENVER, Colo. — In a move that is unprecedented in the history of mad science and football, Denver Broncos head coach John Fox has announced that both Tim Tebow and Kyle Orton will start on Sunday for the Broncos at quarterback. “I don’t mean trading off snaps,” Fox clarified. “I’m talking about joined at the […]

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Report: Red Sox Bullpen Killed It in Bar Trivia During Doubleheader

Report: Red Sox Bullpen Killed It in Bar Trivia During Doubleheader

BOSTON, Mass. — Following an historic collapse in September, a silver lining surfaced Friday as employees of the Cask ‘n Flagon sports bar stepped forward to defend the Red Sox trivia scores. “These newspapers better ease up on the Sox,” waitress Cindy Lauren said. “All they want to talk about is how they went 1-18 […]

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Thousands Rally in Protest of Clippers Draft

Thousands Rally in Protest of Clippers Draft

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — In an uplifting act of patriotism and sportsmanship, a crowd of about 11,000 people gathered outside of the Staples Center on Thursday to vocalize dissent over the mandatory NBA Draft of the Los Angeles Clippers. “Just senseless, brutal tragedy,” said Barbara Wilson, a Clippers season ticket holder of ten years. “Year […]

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JaMarcus Russell Inks “Deal” With Coca-Cola

JaMarcus Russell Inks “Deal” With Coca-Cola

MIDTOWN, Atl. — Reports Wednesday of JaMarcus Russell being let go by the Oakland Raiders were immediately followed by a lucrative contract offer from beverage giant, Coca-Cola. “I am happy to confirm reports that I will be a member of the Coca-Cola family effective June 1st, 2010. I am also proud to wear and represent […]

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LeBron James Struggles From Half Court

LeBron James Struggles From Half Court

CLEVELAND, Ohio — LeBron James, superstar of the Cleveland Cavaliers, was inconsolable Sunday night following a 121-98 victory over the Chicago Bulls in Round 1 of the NBA Playoffs. The 6’ 8” small forward shot a paltry 64% from the field and 66% from the 3 point line. But most glaring was his 44% shooting […]

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Millionaire Rick Steves Releases New, Slightly Condescending Travel Guide

Millionaire Rick Steves Releases New, Slightly Condescending Travel Guide

THE HAMPTONS, N.Y. — Rick Steves, traveler, entrepreneur, and author of 51 travel guidebooks, has released his newest travel book, Rick’s Rolling In Style: Traveling in Europe 2010. The book hit stores in March and has so far received mixed reviews “I picked up Rick’s latest copy because I love his travel advice. I have used […]

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