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Magna Carter, Holy Yeezus: A Style Comparison

Yeezus is a supremely arrogant title. In fact, for all the braggadocio in hip-hop, I’m not sure I can think of one that surpasses it. The essence of modern day rap is to tell the listener that you’re good and, in fact, quite superior to the other so-called rappers. Also, you have money and girls […]

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Puppy Dwight Howard Intrigued By Lakers’ Sales Pitch

The giant billboards erected outside the Staples Center pleading for Dwight Howard, Bull Mastiff and starting center for the Los Angeles Lakers, have been met with enthusiam and tail wagging, according to sources inside the puppy’s inner circle. Five-month-old Howard had reportedly been considering alternative homes, such as the Houston Rockets and Atlanta Hawks, but […]

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How Many Times Has the World Ended?

Today I want to welcome O2LSports’ first guest post to the site. Allison Morris from OnlinePsychologyDegree.net took to wondering how often apocalyptic predictions like those of the Mayans have been taken seriously. The paranoia is as follows: Picture courtesy of OnlinePsychologyDegree.net

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Bold Strategies for a Doomed Romney Campaign

Bold Strategies for a Doomed Romney Campaign

It’s hard to put into words how awful that leaked video was for Mitt Romney. Those comments could have been made in any other context and his poll numbers wouldn’t be dropping as severely as they are now; it had to be a $50,000-a-plate dinner with old cronies and it had to be a secret […]

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Domino’s Employees Begin Self-Imposed Death Sentences

Domino’s Employees Begin Self-Imposed Death Sentences

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — After countless televised pizza gaffes, flubs, and screw-ups, employees of Domino’s Pizza unilaterally agreed that the only recourse was, and is, dying. When the resolution was proposed during a recent teleconference call, all 103 regional managers shrugged and said “eh, sure”, more or less. The company will roll out corresponding commercials […]

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Spam Comment Hall of Fame: Issue 1

Spam Comment Hall of Fame: Issue 1

The advent of spam has brought its due frustration and, in many cases, the utter and complete end of people biologically and/or financially. But for every sob story of a gullible individual who was electronically duped, robbed, and stranded in London with his only leads being a fake facebook profile and a disconnected cell phone […]

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Kris Kardashian Requests Respect for Daughter’s Privacy on One-Hour TV Special

Kris Kardashian Requests Respect for Daughter’s Privacy on One-Hour TV Special

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. — The culmination of Kim Kardashian’s sex tape, failed public relationships with athletes, and overall fame circus came to a head on Monday as Kris Kardashian, the undisputed puppeteer behind the upheaval-for-cash schemes, firmly demanded that the vultures in the media leave Kim alone. The announcement was a shock to many who […]

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Match.com Dates Talk Past Restaurant Closing, Irritated Employees Report

Match.com Dates Talk Past Restaurant Closing, Irritated Employees Report

MILWAUKEE, Wisc. — According to a study conducted Thursday night by disgruntled waiters, chefs, and other food service personnel, 35% of first dates arranged by Match.com result in the couple blatantly disregarding the hours of operation and the well-being of employees. Employees also found that online daters are 66% less likely to pick up on […]

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Don’t Blame Glenn Beck

Don’t Blame Glenn Beck

By the time you read this, Glenn Beck will have been off the airwaves of Fox News for more than six months. MSNBC will have had one less idiot by which to compare themselves to in hopes of the viewer ignoring logical fallacy. Jon Stewart and his team will have spent .0003 seconds longer in […]

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Wall Street to Protesters: “You Win”

Wall Street to Protesters: “You Win”

NEW YORK, N.Y. — After 219 years of economic booms and complete collapses, Wall Street and its perpetuators met their end today, December 2nd, 2011. Analysts did not attribute the closing to the effects of the housing bubble burst, the $62 billion Bernie Madoff scheme, the lack of regulation under the Bush presidency, subprime lending, […]

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