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Life As A Turncoat

What makes a sports fan? Heritage, obviously, for which many would-be front office grifters should be grateful. Then there’s bandwagoning, whether for a favorite player or just a winning franchise. There’s picking a team because you are a junkie in a town that ain’t selling. In a perfect world, we would all just shut up […]

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Dodgers Got Nothing, Dodgers Advance: The Story of the 2018 Season

Every time you shuffle a deck of cards, it’s likely to be the first time that card order has ever occurred in history. Baseball can feel like that: With 162 games, 9 batting slots, 2-3 pitchers per game, different field dimensions, launch angles, ball movements, situational decisions, strategy, and positioning… your team always seems the […]

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Ranking Corpsifications in Denver (Part 2)

THE COLORADO AVALANCHE 2015 RECORD: 39-31-12 Credit where it’s due, the Avalanche know how to keep fan support on the level. Whereas the Philadelphia 76ers just blatantly acquire future “value”, the Avalanche take stock of their current team and spin it, time and time and time again. We aren’t “tanking” this season, we’re always “developing”. […]

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Wait, Are They *Dead* Dead: Ranking Corpsifications In Denver

PART 1 of 2: Colorado Rockies and Denver Nuggets There has been an awakening in the Force. Have you felt it? …No? Okay, welcome to the Mile High City! Some might say I’m writing this because I feel a debt is owed to the three friends who read my sports articles and I’m churning them […]

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A-Rod Blew It

Surprisingly, we’re not discussing his batting in October, nor his treatment of the fans, or his “respect for the game”. Alex Rodriguez, the most unlikable player on the most villainous team, had the chance to impact baseball in a positive way. He gave up that chance this morning. Right now we approach steroids the way […]

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Things I’ll Miss Complaining About If The Broncos Win The Super Bowl

The Super Bowl. We made it. Time to do some inventory. Things I’ll Miss Complaining About If The Broncos Win The Super Bowl How no one appreciated the above-averageness of Jake Plummer. How everyone was a little too sold on Jay Cutler as a playmaker. Josh McDaniels. Just, yeah. McDaniels. How everyone emphasized Brandon Marshall […]

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2013 ESPYs After-Party Photo Gallery

My friend Travis Synder over at the Hungry Creative Agency had the opportunity to snap some photos at the ESPYs daytime after-party/SWAG giveaway and he graciously allowed my site to post them. Comments are mine.         And now for my favorite part: ATHLETES UNCOMFORTABLY ENDORSING PRODUCTS AT RANDOM         […]

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Puppy Dwight Howard Intrigued By Lakers’ Sales Pitch

The giant billboards erected outside the Staples Center pleading for Dwight Howard, Bull Mastiff and starting center for the Los Angeles Lakers, have been met with enthusiam and tail wagging, according to sources inside the puppy’s inner circle. Five-month-old Howard had reportedly been considering alternative homes, such as the Houston Rockets and Atlanta Hawks, but […]

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LeBron James Is Underpaid (via CableTV)

Ever wonder about the exact depth of LeBron James’ attempted murder in Cleveland, pre-Irving? Of course you do. It occupies the space in our minds next to the ‘Do I Still Like Tiger Woods?’ tissue. Our friends at CableTV.com have the answer.                           […]

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The Steroid Hate

It’s a bad sign for sports that this article could have been written five years ago with the same complaints. Namely: are we ever going to use the groundbreaking technology at our disposal, or are we going to meekly refer to the players’ ever-dwindling rights to privacy? But this isn’t an essay about inaction on […]

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