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The NBA’s Amnesty Applied to The Past

The NBA’s Amnesty Applied to The Past

One apparent stipulation of the NBA lockout ending is that each team be able to shed one hideous contract without penalty via an amnesty clause. Bill Simmons and friends have already made the decisions for the owners at Grantland.com, but the potential for this idea does not end there. Hypothetically speaking, here is what the […]

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John Fox Unveils ‘The Ortebow’

John Fox Unveils ‘The Ortebow’

DENVER, Colo. — In a move that is unprecedented in the history of mad science and football, Denver Broncos head coach John Fox has announced that both Tim Tebow and Kyle Orton will start on Sunday for the Broncos at quarterback. “I don’t mean trading off snaps,” Fox clarified. “I’m talking about joined at the […]

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Report: Red Sox Bullpen Killed It in Bar Trivia During Doubleheader

Report: Red Sox Bullpen Killed It in Bar Trivia During Doubleheader

BOSTON, Mass. — Following an historic collapse in September, a silver lining surfaced Friday as employees of the Cask ‘n Flagon sports bar stepped forward to defend the Red Sox trivia scores. “These newspapers better ease up on the Sox,” waitress Cindy Lauren said. “All they want to talk about is how they went 1-18 […]

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Thousands Rally in Protest of Clippers Draft

Thousands Rally in Protest of Clippers Draft

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — In an uplifting act of patriotism and sportsmanship, a crowd of about 11,000 people gathered outside of the Staples Center on Thursday to vocalize dissent over the mandatory NBA Draft of the Los Angeles Clippers. “Just senseless, brutal tragedy,” said Barbara Wilson, a Clippers season ticket holder of ten years. “Year […]

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JaMarcus Russell Inks “Deal” With Coca-Cola

JaMarcus Russell Inks “Deal” With Coca-Cola

MIDTOWN, Atl. — Reports Wednesday of JaMarcus Russell being let go by the Oakland Raiders were immediately followed by a lucrative contract offer from beverage giant, Coca-Cola. “I am happy to confirm reports that I will be a member of the Coca-Cola family effective June 1st, 2010. I am also proud to wear and represent […]

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LeBron James Struggles From Half Court

LeBron James Struggles From Half Court

CLEVELAND, Ohio — LeBron James, superstar of the Cleveland Cavaliers, was inconsolable Sunday night following a 121-98 victory over the Chicago Bulls in Round 1 of the NBA Playoffs. The 6’ 8” small forward shot a paltry 64% from the field and 66% from the 3 point line. But most glaring was his 44% shooting […]

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