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Is America Officially Embarrassing? Fleet Foxes End Bitter Argument Over Arcane Album Lore, Reunite Will TV Always Be Ephemeral? Two Words Secretly Holding Us Back Is Another Pre-9/11 Era Truly Impossible? The Male Appeal of Gilmore Girls

Is America Officially Embarrassing?

In so much of growing up, the real lesson was in the measures. In school, you had to learn cursive, even if you didn’t see the application for it, because it balanced the informality of chicken scratch. Your burgeoning opinions were kept in check not by the existence of (very real) youthful stupidity, but rather […]

Fleet Foxes End Bitter Argument Over Arcane Album Lore, Reunite

To the delight of a patient fanbase, Robin Pecknold ended his six-year hiatus after concluding studies at NYU, as well as a longstanding feud with the band and its hotly debated mythology. The announcement was made on the band’s website, accompanied by a new song and an apology from guitarist Christian Wargo: ‘We are ecstatic […]

Will TV Always Be Ephemeral?

A curious discussion arose late one night at a bar with a fellow writer. From a dissertation of whether one would rather spend a day with Leo or Justin Timberlake (in a vacuum – definition of vacuum unclear) arose temporality. Perhaps in the moment, it’s more fun to do whatever JT has planned. He is […]

Two Words Secretly Holding Us Back

I’ve never been a fan of Larry Wilmore Past 3 Minutes. I understand he believes this means I am part of the problem, part of why his show shuttered. According to Wilmore, the show was always going to fight an uphill battle because “white people don’t like to hear about race for too long.” Ignoring […]

Is Another Pre-9/11 Era Truly Impossible?

The immediate surge in a vacuum beside your stomach – below the heart, where patriotism swells – tells you absolutely yes. It sits there, forever rubbing against gastro-lining, like something that will make you sick but never actually does. The media wouldn’t let you forget. Your neighbors wouldn’t let you forgive – not Bush, not […]

The Male Appeal of Gilmore Girls

Every relationship has certain certainties: it energizes you and enervates you; jokes and conversations take strange, strange turns down roads invisible to singledom; you defend and advocate the things you like with too much gravitas for something like entertainment; and you embrace new things that were outside your purview before—and that thing is most likely […]

Existing As Ethos: A Political Essay

24 August 2015

Watching John Oliver’s latest segment about televangelists got me thinking about the bizarre GOP debate, ethos, and existing in general. Almost none of this really goes back to religion at all; in fact I’d like to start with: starting. Oliver did his typical takedown of a broad injustice in the world and by now has […]

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The Cultural Space Occupied By Lana Del Rey

23 June 2015

Lana Del Rey seems to be an artist whose music provokes overly long dissections like these, while paradoxically being an artist who wouldn’t read them if payed. She’s our closest modern example of Led Zeppelin, in that her borrowing is explicit enough to become an entirely new art. I named my hypothetical band Ana Yell […]

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Ranking Corpsifications in Denver (Part 2)

22 June 2015

THE COLORADO AVALANCHE 2015 RECORD: 39-31-12 Credit where it’s due, the Avalanche know how to keep fan support on the level. Whereas the Philadelphia 76ers just blatantly acquire future “value”, the Avalanche take stock of their current team and spin it, time and time and time again. We aren’t “tanking” this season, we’re always “developing”. […]

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Wait, Are They *Dead* Dead: Ranking Corpsifications In Denver

17 June 2015

PART 1 of 2: Colorado Rockies and Denver Nuggets There has been an awakening in the Force. Have you felt it? …No? Okay, welcome to the Mile High City! Some might say I’m writing this because I feel a debt is owed to the three friends who read my sports articles and I’m churning them […]

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A Quick Reading Check-In

10 June 2015

It seems contradictory to say I have had no time to update this website and also to write about all the books I’ve since read for pleasure. Oh well. I’m just glad to be back. Unlike my normal reading patterns, I can probably explain why I went from one to the next. The Count of […]

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My Argument For The 20 Best Words

11 August 2014

Thank God this website is a hobby. How on earth do sportswriters survive the summer? I’m not the first person to ask this Q but it bears repeating: HOW? I suppose a ninety thousand dollar paycheck would stimulate the creative juices, but past answering the very easy question of ‘Will Rory acquire more majors than […]

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The Gaben Awards

29 July 2014

If you’re familiar with reddit (particularly r/gaming, r/pcmasterrace or r/technology), I don’t need to explain who or what  Gaben is. You can skip the next paragraph.  But for those whom aren’t indoctrinated into reddit’s glorious, never-ending time-suck… The sports leagues need a Gabe Newell. Gabe, or Gaben in the vernacular, is the billionaire head of […]

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You Look Like: The Three Words Slowly Defining Pop Culture

23 July 2014

Bets you will never see at a Vegas Sportsbook for lack of house odds: ‘Michael Sam verbally bullied before Week 12’, ‘Shia LaBeouf crashes Oscars drunk with anti-celebrity manifesto’, and ‘New Seth Rogen vehicle to include insult humor beginning with ‘You look like ____’. (Close cousins rarely seen today would be ‘Celebrity X called, he/she […]

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An Alternate Perspective On Sexism and Racism In Movies

01 May 2014

93 percent. If you are even tangentially related to the film industry, you hear that number and think ‘the percent of Major Oscars which haven’t gone to minorities or women’. When a fact as glaring as that exists, it’s all hands on deck to try and rectify the environment of filmmaking. But, I believe, the […]

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A-Rod Blew It

07 February 2014

Surprisingly, we’re not discussing his batting in October, nor his treatment of the fans, or his “respect for the game”. Alex Rodriguez, the most unlikable player on the most villainous team, had the chance to impact baseball in a positive way. He gave up that chance this morning. Right now we approach steroids the way […]

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About the Author

Chris O'Toole (Colorado State '12, Chapman '15) recently finished a Screenwriting MFA. He has written for Livestrong, CBS, and other publications. Love, hate, and job offers can be sent to: otool102@mail.chapman.edu

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