A Year In China: Part One

With the way China is now portrayed as the superpower of the next 100 years, I had the idea that I was cramming into an old jalopy with Hemingway, Woody Allen, and Owen Wilson on course to our version of the roaring 1920s. A sad, polluted, hobbled, suicidal hyper-industrialized version of those fondly remembered days. […]

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2013 ESPYs After-Party Photo Gallery

My friend Travis Synder over at the Hungry Creative Agency had the opportunity to snap some photos at the ESPYs daytime after-party/SWAG giveaway and he graciously allowed my site to post them. Comments are mine.         And now for my favorite part: ATHLETES UNCOMFORTABLY ENDORSING PRODUCTS AT RANDOM         […]

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Magna Carter, Holy Yeezus: A Style Comparison

Yeezus is a supremely arrogant title. In fact, for all the braggadocio in hip-hop, I’m not sure I can think of one that surpasses it. The essence of modern day rap is to tell the listener that you’re good and, in fact, quite superior to the other so-called rappers. Also, you have money and girls […]

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Puppy Dwight Howard Intrigued By Lakers’ Sales Pitch

The giant billboards erected outside the Staples Center pleading for Dwight Howard, Bull Mastiff and starting center for the Los Angeles Lakers, have been met with enthusiam and tail wagging, according to sources inside the puppy’s inner circle. Five-month-old Howard had reportedly been considering alternative homes, such as the Houston Rockets and Atlanta Hawks, but […]

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The 5 Strangest Uses of Shakespeare in Pop Culture

As you may have guessed from the title, this was originally going to be an article for Cracked. However, their process for new submissions resembles a Mesozoic tar pit crossed with the bureaucracy of a DMV in Detroit. To their credit, a lot of those dinosaurs probably had it coming, licenses are issued, and daily […]

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LeBron James Is Underpaid (via CableTV)

Ever wonder about the exact depth of LeBron James’ attempted murder in Cleveland, pre-Irving? Of course you do. It occupies the space in our minds next to the ‘Do I Still Like Tiger Woods?’ tissue. Our friends at CableTV.com have the answer.                           […]

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Review of One Year Lived (with Free Copy Inside)

I have a few certainties in life: Everyone likes The Beatles and everyone has a friend who pretends they’re just OK.  The NBA was rigged from the very late 1990s to the early 2000s. Jordan left basketball because of gambling. Michael Jackson was innocent. Bush didn’t knock down the Towers. Our cable news will never […]

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An Open Letter to TV Executives Regarding Abandonment

Dear ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX, PBS and Every Exec of Real Import (Sorry SyFy), Speaking as someone who has mostly unsubstantiated opinions and relies heavily on the Chinese for work (I just happen to live there, in this case), I believe I fit the bill for all target demographics. Gay, straight, old, fat, young, male, […]

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The Problems With Present Tense

Rules for writing seem counter-intuitive, if you really think about them. The best writing seeks to live within these rules, for the sake of others actually engaging with the text, and yet prose of the highest level should feel like it is escaping its own constraints. High school teachers are perpetually employed under the dictum […]

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Explaining Meta-Culture

30 Rock recently completed its swan song in a season that matched Ray Lewis’s in every respect and overshadowed anything Daniel “Women Aren’t Funny Now Let’s Watch YouTube” Tosh will ever do one-hundredfold. True, we lost a lot as the lights dimmed on a great show and the trainwreck that featured the Fart Doctor, respectively. […]

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