O2LSports

LOGIC-DEVOID POCKET OF SPACE — A hyper-dimensional spacecraft jettisoned from Earth eight years ago finally reached its destination of Planet 141X with all eight passengers safely touching down in the estrogen-heavy atmosphere. Preliminary photos and video showed no signs of life, but at 4 p.m. today, the scientists reported having made contact with mysterious life [...]

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In a world… where everything… is the best or worst thing of all time… one man… fought… for mediocrity. Srsly, Internet. After almost a century of Academy Award shows and 31 years of Razzies, how has no one thought to award the most mediocre movies and actors of the year? It’s the bloodiest battle! I [...]

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — An uproar began outside a Washington, D.C. Starbucks where Speaker of the House John Boehner was seen buying a venti decaf Holiday roast, his second coffee of the day. Upon the news leak, a crowd of well over one hundred gathered to effectively jeer and barricade Boehner before he was escorted out [...]

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One apparent stipulation of the NBA lockout ending is that each team be able to shed one hideous contract without penalty via an amnesty clause. Bill Simmons and friends have already made the decisions for the owners at Grantland.com, but the potential for this idea does not end there. Hypothetically speaking, here is what the [...]

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COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local flasher Allen Whitaker expressed gratitude for his loyal throng of nonconsensual viewers on Thursday, but also felt that it was time for a larger number of citizens to see his famed penis. “First of all, to those that stand idly at bus stops and business parks, thank you,” Whitaker began. “It [...]

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