It’s a testament to the egotism of sports stars that they give themselves sports nicknames. It’s a testament to the sycophantic nature of fans that we allow them to be King James and the Black Mamba. I, personally, have many nicknames that I embrace but I did not create them. My favorite nickname is Dursky […]

The NBA’s Amnesty Applied to The Past
One apparent stipulation of the NBA lockout ending is that each team be able to shed one hideous contract without penalty via an amnesty clause. Bill Simmons and friends have already made the decisions for the owners at Grantland.com, but the potential for this idea does not end there. Hypothetically speaking, here is what the […]

John Fox Unveils ‘The Ortebow’
DENVER, Colo. — In a move that is unprecedented in the history of mad science and football, Denver Broncos head coach John Fox has announced that both Tim Tebow and Kyle Orton will start on Sunday for the Broncos at quarterback. “I don’t mean trading off snaps,” Fox clarified. “I’m talking about joined at the […]

JaMarcus Russell Inks “Deal” With Coca-Cola
MIDTOWN, Atl. — Reports Wednesday of JaMarcus Russell being let go by the Oakland Raiders were immediately followed by a lucrative contract offer from beverage giant, Coca-Cola. “I am happy to confirm reports that I will be a member of the Coca-Cola family effective June 1st, 2010. I am also proud to wear and represent […]